I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
