he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
