Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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