This dress was meant to end up on your floor
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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