shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sorry about my life...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
