as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
