I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
