Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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