we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
