I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
