I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
