I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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