dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
