That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
