There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
