I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
