I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
