and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
