weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
