he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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