haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
