Will you blow on my dice?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
