Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
