Plan B is the new Plan A
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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