Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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