She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
