is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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