could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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