weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
