So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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