If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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