If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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