i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
