They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
