If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
