Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
