take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im holly from the hills drunk
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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