Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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