Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
