Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
