He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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