Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
