My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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