why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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