You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
