I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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