I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
