I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
