For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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