she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
