just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
