Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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