God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
